"Time heals all wounds"
Part 2, Chapter 16 (page 161)
Psychological wounds do not heal with time. Rather they fall into the depth of the person’s psyche and can become the foundation for other wounds to build upon. The person becomes unhappy, sick, depressed, etc. Psycho-therapy can set this monster free, but conscious effort is needed.
Here the genie has escaped out of the bottle and has risen above the house. It has broken its bandages that kept it in place for such a long time, the safety pin now dangles uselessly at the end of the bandage and one piece has completely broken off. Time is collapsing, realizing that the healing of the wound had only been postponed.
Before time can heal the wound, the patient has to understand its origins. Once this is done, the wound deflates and can heal. The patient in whose mind the wound had grown, will be a changed person, liberated by the unhappy unconscious pulsations that did run through his psyche all these years.
Saturday, 3 February 2018
Thursday, 21 December 2017
Monday, 4 December 2017
"I see Father wash himself.”
Part 2, Chapter 9, page 142
Here my heroin Maya is 13 years old. But she looks much older. To see her expression, makes me feel very, very sad. Maya watches her father’s nudity while in the morning he stands at the wash stand and washes himself. A bird is painted on the water jug. Birds are a phallic symbol in German.
It is interesting to see what is happening on the floor: A pair of slippers neatly put away under the night table next to a teddy bear. On the carpet is lying an insect with 6 wings. The two arrows on the right and left side seem wanting to squeeze the insect into oblivion. However, the insect is not killed so easily. It is an archetype that has been existing in our minds for time immemorial. It is one of the creatures that has survived earth’s upheavals, like earthquakes, floods, volcanic eruptions, droughts, etc. I see spider legs coming out from underneath her father’s pillow! The design of the bedspread is not inviting either. The whole image is creepy and unpleasant.
In this context I am referring to an excerpt of one of my therapy poems “The tomb of the Black Butterfly.”
“ ... never a father and daughter should ever come so near,
Ever share the same bedroom,
Breathe in the same sheets.
Receive the same messages in their dreams. “
We can throw away the carpet, change the sheets, have separate beds and sleep in separate bedrooms. But to become conscious of sexual abuse that went on in this bedroom, understand it, digest it, heal it, takes a whole lifetime. It is a challenge to extract from this situation wisdom, forgiveness and eventually love.
Monday, 2 October 2017
|"On Saturdays we took our bath."|
Part 2, Chapter 5 of Insectual
The Chalet (page 130)
This is a sketch that I love. Mother has reunited her three children in the aluminium wash tub. This is her expression of duty and love. She could not embrace her children and give all three of them a hug or have them cuddle up on her, at the same time. In my German childhood these feelings were not expressed. But mother was orderly and tidy and everything functioned according to the clock. The clothes are thrown on one chair; this was much against her discipline. We had to fold our clothes in the evening. The tub is overflowing with water. In this chalet there was no running water and the water then was thrown out the window. I am showing you the original Bavarian chalet where I grew up:
Monday, 11 September 2017
Saturday, 26 August 2017
|"Journey on a Lilipad, (c) 1990"|
5 star review This is a powerful book...I absolutely enjoyed every chapter :-), July 29, 2017
INSECTUAL: The Secret of the Black Butterfly (Kindle Edition)
This is a powerful book. It recounts the journey of young girl....all the way through to her adult life. The problems she is now facing in her present marriage and how these troubles are rooted deep in her past. Through the advice of her husband Lorenzo she is now seeing a therapist and their sessions are nothing short of fascinating. The ways in which the therapist uncovers the truth....her confessions...her falling in love with the therapist and her learning to let go and find a new beginning are all truly inspiring. Not to be forgotten is her unusual obsession with insects and the pleasure she feels while in their presence...more pleasure than being around her husband. This story also shows the danger of physical and emotional abuse and how it can affect ones thinking ability and subsequently their future dealings with others. I absolutely enjoyed every chapter :-) .....it was most intriguing.
Thursday, 10 August 2017
"Bombs hiss and whistle"
Part 2, Chapter 4 of Insectual,
War (page 128)
Bombs are flying through the air not yet exploded. But previous bombs had already created great damage. The family of six is assembled in front of a cave, although my intention was to put them into the cave. The detonations of the bombs, the fear of the planes, the displacement of people and the fear to be hurt, and to die, takes place and remains traced in our memory, even when all this happens when we are very small children. In the picture, Maya distances herself from her family and runs away with a doll and teddy bear in her arm.
I am a child of war and I thought that war had not touched me, but as the book explains it had. I did ran away, damaged, my imagination buried - the doll and the teddy bear - but finally retrievable through psycho therapy (in my case).
In the beginning of my painting career my colours were very dark. I wanted to paint hate and anger and fear. Then during many years of therapy I erased the darkness in me, I gave myself finally permission to use bright colours .
Still Life with Chakras (c) B. Sala 1985
Wednesday, 21 June 2017
Wednesday, 19 April 2017
"Walk to school is long and tiring."
Part 2, Chapter 2 of Insectual
March to School, (page 123)
“Blah”, I thought, “skip it. There is nothing to say about this image.” But my mind did not agree. And off I went on a spiralling journey. What does this path remind me off? A ribbon, a river, intestines, a snake, a thread, an umbilical cord, a link between heaven and earth. The end of a note. I felt music stretch like this path through my nightly home.
Wednesday, 8 March 2017
"He has become redundant"
Part 2, chapter 1 of Insectual
Being a Doll
He lost his home, but an impression is left, see the empty space where his home was standing. She grabbed the home, put it into her lap, as if it was one of her babies. The house was hers now.
Monday, 30 January 2017
|''Perhaps I can distract him.''|
Part 1, chapter 26 of Insectual
Night of Delirium, page 110
He carries a machete. She open her arms wide. She is wearing a kimono. Does she invite him to have sex in order to save her life? We have to imagine what might happen. She transforms herself into a butterfly and now the path away from harm is wide open.
“Life is like a butterfly. It flies away and makes me cry.”
This is the last chapter of Part 1, “Marriage in Congo.” In future I will add more colourful images.
|Towards a better world. |
Wednesday, 4 January 2017
Happy New Year 2017
Saturday, 10 December 2016
"Show no Fear."
Part 1, Chapter 25
Hostages in a friendly land (page 107 of 250)
You, who do not know the story, in seeing this picture what do you see? Perhaps that Maya is a "being of light" who walks through a row of ghostlike soldiers. She has made herself invisible to the human eye and at the same time she made her enemy invisible as well.
Friday, 18 November 2016
What is Insectual about by Ann Diamond, author
Barbara is a prolific German-born Montreal painter and writer whose work has been shown internationally.
Her novel (fictionalized autobiography) INSECTUAL is a fascinating colourful spellbinding gripping account of a life lived on three continents spanning the second world war in Nazi Germany and the Belgian Congo at the height of its bloody civil war.
Arriving in Montreal as a married woman with two children, Maya (the heroine) begins an Odyssey of self-exploration that leads her to unravel the secrets of her childhood as the daughter of a Luftwaffe pilot as Germany was being defeated.
Her brilliant gifted therapist becomes the focus of her quest to revive her frozen sexuality lying dormant even after years of marriage to a sex addict. This deep contradiction fuels her artistic evolution and also brings her to the brink of psychotic breakdown.
This is a story of healing through art and self-analysis, but also a remarkable journey into the jungles and war zones of the human – and particularly female – spirit coming into conflict with a patriarchal reality that offers no real hope and appears to be collapsing.
INSECTUAL is a brave and terrifying page-turner of a memoir that deserves to be read by many readers. Barbara Sala is her own publisher, but this book is highly marketable to a wide audience.
Tuesday, 15 November 2016
!FREE GIVEAWAY FREE !
I original illustration of this book when you purchase Insectual from Amazon and post your review on Amazon. Please send me your selection of the image you would like to have, your email address and your Amazon receipt. The size of the image is 5 x 7 inches or 13 x 18 cm and the medium ink and charcoal on acid free paper. Thanks.
Testicles big as Light Bulbs.
Part 1, Chapter 23
Inside the Hospital (page 102)
I do not see any symbolism in this drawing, but stark reality. I made the sketch from a photo that I took in 1966 when I visited this village. The people let me take pictures, even invited me to take them. Understandably they were desperate and hungry. The U.N. Team distributed milk and other foods.