Wednesday, 7 January 2015

19 March 2015

"I picked up from underneath my bed" (page 16)

Chapter I, 2

The Dream

This story is about a psychotherapy. Here in this picture, the unconscious pushes Maya to investigate her mind. Her desire to communicate (telephone) is so strong, that she seems like “flying” underneath her bed and stirring up the leaves of her diary. The car in the street is waiting for her to take her places.


March 1, 2015 

It took 30 years with interruptions to tell this story. In 1986 when I set out on this adventure, I had not yet officially shown any of my paintings. Then, I wanted to build up my career as a painter, which to me was certainly easier than to write a book. I am glad that I started both at that time. I might have forgotten many details that are included in the book. 

My lover's hand. 

 Chapter 1,1

 Unfulfilled Love or Forboding

This is not a small drawing and it wasn’t done with the book in mind. Its size is 15 x 22”, done in charcoal and ink and it does not belong to the series of smaller images. But the image fits the beginning. 

Review by Renate R.: (with her permission)

It is privilege to read this book. 

- The depth of struggle with incest uniquely documented. 

- Recent scientific discoveries about "The Teenage Brain" clearly indicate the severe and permanent damage that can be done at that time in life. 

- Barbara's rich imagination, expressed in her famous paintings come as a result of her struggle.

- A very painful way to produce Art. 

- There is not a word too many. The text is clear to the point. A page turner. 

- The book has a stunning effect on me. 


February 15, 2015

Hello dear Friends,

It is with great pleasure and excitement that I announce the publication of INSECTUAL, The Secret of the Black Butterfly. Finally. It was 30 years in the making with long periods of interruption.The book is available at:

The blog's aim is to show the black and white illustrations that are in the book, like this one which you can find on the back of the book cover:

I will be also offering them for sale. I will follow the sequence of appearance of the pictures as in the book. My price for each illustration is Can $75.00, postage included. To be paid through PayPal, or as per arrangement, please.

This is a new adventure in my life and I am happy to share it with you. I am new at blogging, and there are many things that I haven't ironed out yet.

The text of the book cover reads as follows:

The Secret of the Black Butterfly

“That’s where they burn red-haired girls as witches,” Maya’s mother said as they stood staring at the heavy metal door of an ominous bunker on their way to kindergarten.
This streak of madness starts Maya’s odyssey – from war and betrayal in Germany of the late 1940s to adventure in Africa in the 1960s.
Maya’s trauma remains buried with her childhood in the Bavarian Alps, the family hideaway where they fled to get away from the bombing raids. She goes on a U.N. mission to the former tormented Belgian Congo, where she weds her glamorous Italian co-worker and gives birth to two children in the midst of the dangers of the Mulele revolution.
This fast-moving saga rolls across three continents, from war-torn Europe to Africa and then to North America. In Montreal in the 1980s, she undergoes psychotherapy to uncover the sting of angst embedded in her psyche. 
From hypnosis arises the image of the black butterfly, symbol of her father. In the psychiatrist’s office, the doctor’s suggestion of friendly touching “dislodges the pebble that sets in motion an avalanche” – Maya’s anatomy of a secret seduction.
This unusual picture book for adults uses the literary device of quotes pulled from the text to create a parallel universe of 80 drawings – each one an epiphany – that illustrate the gift of humour found in the transformative power of art and spirituality. 

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